Writers Block

You may have noticed, I have been suffering a little from writer's block.
But as the time approches when the Christmas madness will be over and school isn't yet back in, when the boys will be visiting relatives and I will have a little time on my hands, I look forward to having another go at the draft of 'otherpleasespecify'.

The break has been good.
I still have no idea about how to make the plot work.

Berlin is still teaching me - in painful and personal ways - all about racism.
I'd like to share what I'm learning through the play, and I want to find a way to share it without crying...

funny story - real life incident

i've just returned home from spending way too much money in karstadt (local department store). i'm spending the day with tyrell today - he has *ahem* a sore throat and is off school.
so, i told tyrell about my experience at the checkout:

the assistant was going to serve an elderly white man, but he - quite rightly - indicated that i was next in line. however, he ruins the gesture by adding "wow ist sie braungebrannt! ist es schon sommer?" - which means "corr hasn't she got a suntan! is it already summer?"
i waited for someone else to say something to him, as i thought it was such an outrageous statement, that it obviously did not belong in berlin 2007, but no - his statement, which he repeated two or three times because he wanted to make sure people heard him, drew no comment.

so anyway, i just shared this story with tyrell (almost 8). he responds:
"well, i would have said 'wow! bist du kaltgefroren! ist es schon winter? ich muss nach hause rennen, mir meine jacke, schal, handschuhe und mutze anziehen!' which means...'wow! you look frozen cold! is it already winter? i've got to get home and put my jacket, scarf, gloves and hat on!'

it could be this simple!

christie is racist (part 2)

short recap: i received feedback after the first public reading of 'otherpleasespecify'. the characterisation of christie, was criticised. in particular, she was deemed to be 'the biggest racist of all'. christie - a 33 year old black single parent - is not so dissimilar to me in terms of her views and behaviour.

so... ouch!

however, i find this point of view interesting, because i would like to find out what lies behind this statement: what definition of racism is attached to it. it seems to me, that without a definition or racism, the task of eradicating it is pretty damn impossible.

defining racism is a biggy. i'm following some discussions on blogs, mainly written by 'white allies' - my favourite entries are listed in 'blog posts i like' in the right-hand column (below 'blog archive').

i made a comment on www.rachelstavern.com after reading the post more on racism and racists - i thought i might share what i wrote here:

rachel,

thank you for this fascinating post and sparking this discussion - i’ve found a lot of useful material in it. i wanted to go back a couple of steps where the topic was on institutional racism / white supremacy.
i was particularly interested by the discussion on who can/should be considered racist - everybody? everyone who is white? or just the real mad KKK people who would be proud to carry such a label?

i have been struggling with this question for many years. you will not be surprised to hear that i’m still struggling. in a nutshell: racism for me is a system or a state of being or a framework: it is synonymous with maintaining white supremacy & white privilege. everyone (i mean people of all ethnicities) engages in that to a certain extent. i guess white people in power are those who are in the greatest position to make (peaceful) changes - however i also agree with another commenter (ann?) that this won’t be happening in my lifetime. indeed, i think that before a ‘business case’ is made for dismantling white supremacy, the ‘moral case’ will never quite be strong enough. a wise person once said: “power concedes nothing without a demand. it never did and it never will” (frederick douglass). so i predict there will be an almighty struggle - which will not necessarily be peaceful - where black people & their allies will have to seize control of the future.

what will the outcome be? well ultimately, i hope it will be the creation of a society which has true race equality (i don’t believe this exists anywhere on earth, but i would love to be proved wrong). what will this look like? i honestly don’t know. it’s one of those things - we will know it when we have it, but at this moment it seems like a fairy tale.

i can say it won’t be a simple reversal of the power structure (leading to white oppresion), or a simple numbers game (eg more black leaders = freedom - although i DO believe that this could be a means to an end)

i think it will be something approximate to a society where privilege (currently experienced by white people) just does not exist (for those who may not know what i am talking about, please read: unpacking the invisible knapsack).

before we can get to THAT state we need to convince white people (and come to think of it, some black people too) that this privilege exists.

i’ve tried to write a play to capture what i think racism is and how it affects people. my blog (http://otherpleasespecify.blogspot.com) gives some information about it. if anyone would like to stop by and browse you’d be very welcome. and if anyone would like to read the play (it’s just the first draft! i want to develop it after receiving comments) just email me and let me know (email link from website).

Episode of South Park

Watch this episode of South Park - I especially loved Randy's performance poetry & launch of scholarship for African Americans.
Let me know what you think....

christie is racist (part 1)

apparently.

i had a very long conversation with someone this week, who was kind enough to spend a good 3 and a half hours with me, providing feedback on the reading (march 4th in english theatre berlin)

she said many things, mostly challenging and highly critical as far as the plot and themes raised in the play are concerned. right now, i would like to discuss one of them: christie is the biggest racist in the play.

that certainly took me back. but seeing as i want the play to be challenging, i guess there is no reason why i shouldn't be challenged in turn?

according to the lady i was speaking with (i will call her h.), christie fails to communicate to those around her who are behaving in an ignorant manner, why their behaviour and their assumptions are wrong. so for example, there is a scene with three senior white managers who behave in an outrageously dismissive way towards christie. in that scene h deems the behaviour of managers as ignorant, certainly wrong, but that christie is the racist, as she doesn't call them on their rubbish - christie misses an opportunity to rid the world of racism because she doesn't challenge it.

do you follow?

according to h, another reason why christie is racist is because she sees everything so completely in terms of 'black' and 'white'. she reduces the problems she experiences simply to being a black person and the character of christie offends white people (both those on stage and in the audience) because she is so confrontational & reductionist: 'you can't understand me, because you are white'.

i see a contradiction in these two lines of argument, but that doesn't trouble me, because i believe discussions about race, racism and identity will almost always be inherently contradictory - the language we have at our disposal to discuss these issues is far too poor to capture the richness of human experience. we are bound to stumble - the trick is to get up and keep walking just the same. and i am grateful to h for meeting with me to share her views.

having said that, i do feel the need to blog about the charge of racism levied at christie.

this could be long(!), so i will deal with this issue in several parts. for now, part 1, i will leave the charge as it stands - please feel free to leave comments...(comments policy soon come - for now, simply be respectful).

draft 2...

i needed to react quickly to this email that amy r. forwarded to me:

Arts Management student at Dartington College of Arts is offering an opportunity for new playwrights to have their work produced:

I’m seeking previously un-produced scripts of contemporary plays, from which one will be selected for development and production with my fellow students, leading to a public performance this May. Ideally this will be a collaborative process with the writer, as their vision and input and will form a vital part of the project’s development.

Unfortunately time and resource restraints demand that the piece be only approximately 40 minutes in length and involve not more than half a dozen characters. However, it may be possible to produce 2 shorter pieces, so if you’ve written something short and great then send it in!

the deadline is march 11th - tomorow?
i have done the best i can in the time available - though i still want to do more work on the characters dirk, rita, and possibly increase the role of the chorus. so regardless of the outcome of the dartington project, i am moving swiftly on to draft 3.
more soon!

did i really say that?

i keep having flashbacks of the reading on sunday. one thing that came to me as i was walking home today was the question i posed to the white members of the audience. the words were something to the effect of 'how did it feel to be othered by me?'
did i really say that?
there was a bit of a stunned silence.
i don't remember anyone answering the question directly, and the discussion moved on in a different direction
but after the discussion had ended someone did come to speak to me.
he admitted that it didn't feel very good at all, and that the play had really caused him to think...
job done then?